


so, what now?

by amadotcom



Category: Toradora!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Bad Decisions, F/F, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, I'm so sorry for inaccuracies with Japanese uni I tried, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Self-Indulgent, Unresolved Tension, ami kawashima is a distant meanie, author is projecting onto her fav wlw :), hand-holding, hey I actually kind of planned this story what??, minori kushieda ignores all her problems, slow burn until I get bored
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29782839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amadotcom/pseuds/amadotcom
Summary: 'Looks like things will go smoothly' - Minori Kushieda thinks to herself; satisfied with her successful juggling of being a psychology student, a softball pro, and a well-rounded human being. She's content with her current existence, comfortable in her new routine, with the heartache of high school left firmly in the past. Only for life to dump Ami Kawashima into her psychology class on a (previously) uneventful Monday morning.
Relationships: Kawashima Ami/Kushieda Minori
Kudos: 7





	so, what now?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ppl who thought ami and minori should've held hands and mayb kissed a little](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ppl+who+thought+ami+and+minori+should%27ve+held+hands+and+mayb+kissed+a+little).



> whoops i did a thing! I'm lonely and sapphic and dangit these two should have interacted more in the series. Like. I know they did,, but,,, :( Anyway, what is fanfiction for if not to let you live vicariously through your characters!?

It was funny how life seemed to conspire against Minori.

Perhaps that wasn’t the right word. At this point, it was much less funny, and more a played-out joke. After high school, you’d think she would catch a break, and the universe would find someone else to dangle between its paws and toy with. But nope! Along comes some new cosmic annoyance to try and outrun! And these issues didn’t even have the imagination to be something cool or interesting like… like… an alien?! Just something to make it worth it. Minori was sure she’d do more of her essays if they glowed in the dark or something. 

Okay, she was being a touch dramatic, that was clear, but this situation warranted drama – in fact, it was deeply lacking it. Near her, a pen tapped, measuring the metre of someone’s thoughts. From a distant corner of the room, a cough echoed around the off-white walls. Light toyed with the swirling dust motes, lazily sloping down towards the ink-dotted floors. Sheesh. Who had injected the air with treacle? It was deeply, concerningly, lazily unassuming.

The teacher flapped his mouth, saying what Minori assumed were very deep, super interesting words which she was currently completely unable to focus on. Shock was dangling from her limbs like taunt marionette strings. Keeping her frozen in anticipation for a blow that had already landed. All of this, the reason her brain had turned traitor and started racing like it was doing it for the Olympics, because sitting within head-poking distance was Ami Kawashima. 

Not the most typical of reactions to seeing an old friend, but she felt she was allowed to indulge in a little rash action at this moment.

Doing such a thing might not have been weird a couple of years ago, seeing as they’d sat fairly near each other and head-poking was something Ami had come to anticipate, or rather, tolerate. But that was then, and this was now. And now was being stuck in a hot (was it getting hotter?) classroom with a friend who had crawled straight out of her memories, still dripping with faded exchanges and patchy memories.

She wasn’t sure whether she should be laughing or… well, gnashing her teeth with resentment. After all, what right did this imposter made of memories have now to take an Ami-sized wrecking ball to the nicely-established foundations of her carefully constructed life? She’d spent so long picking up and discarding various rubble from the past. Patching together something manageable, not perfect but it was... functional. Only for that to completely fall back into the rubble of before. So, what now? 

It wasn’t like they’d been chatting regularly. Her phone hadn’t so much as lit up with a message from Ami, who appeared to be too good to grace Minori with a courteous 'hey, how are you!'. So, it had seemed those days of head-poking were over. Or, that’s what she’d assumed, as the years had faded Minori’s school photos. Not that she was resentful. Well. She wasn’t anymore. Or at least she thought she wasn’t.

Ami, of course, had remained plastically fresh on the vibrant covers of magazines, posing with whatever was in the taste of the season. Minori had never bought one. She’d just stare at the printed face which would smile back up at her. It was so hard to reconcile that poised model with the Ami that was smirking in the school photo tucked away on her desk, behind her psychology textbooks. 

Her hair was slightly ruffled, drawn into feathery needles and her uniform was dirty thanks to a scuffle with Taiga. Not front cover material, but she looked genuinely happy. It was something about the way her mouth twisted, like she had just come up with an equal parts devastating and hilarious retort to shoot Taiga’s way. It was all so sourly nostalgic. Leaning back in her seat, she ran her fingers over older memories. After that jab, Minori would have to defend Taiga’s honour. Then Ryuji (why did her heart still clench?) would offer placating smiles and Yusaku would laugh. A looping script they all read, comforting and worn at the pages from use.

Having to even recall the little intricate beats of their old conversations sent a shiver through her. She hadn’t had to dust off those old memories in ages. They used to be things she indulged herself in, a cure for the growing pains. Something to reminisce on when it was late enough for rational thought to be laughed fondly about and waved aside. Now it seemed rational thought had deserted her completely. 

So, they’d grown apart. Whatever. It happens! It happens to tons of people! Although, these tons of people seemed to have no advice for what to do when someone you hadn’t seen since high school sashays into your psychology class on a tepid Monday morning. Life had gotten in the way, of course, but she was beginning to wish it had stayed in the way.

They hadn’t spoken since… no, no no! Minori shook her head, hoping to dislodge the mental cobwebs that were sticking the pages of her coherent thoughts together into a sludgy mess. If she started blushing in class with Ami Freaking Kawashima sat within mocking range, then her only option would be to drop out of university and run away to somewhere with no more Ami’s following her everywhere with their smiling faces and great lifestyle tips you simply must try. That was the only natural reaction, of course. Yep.  
Rational thought had definitely packed its bags and stepped out the door. 

Somehow unaware of the very loud thoughts in Minori’s head, (seriously, how wasn’t anyone hearing this?), Ami was absorbed in decorating her pen with bite marks, her brow furrowed in the perfect portrait of innocent diligence. Distantly, she wondered if it would burst and cover Ami in super professional navy-ink. Something had to happen, right? Ami Kawashima could not just waltz into her psychology class like the slightly scuffed floors were her next runway. Not without some sort of universal acknowledgment that this had already pushed beyond the weirdness scale. Her appearance here was right under a meteor crashing into the school in likeliness. Which may have been preferable.  
Trying very, very hard not to stare, Minori dragged her gaze back towards her professor. His mouth was moving, and noises that could be words were blanketing the quiet scraping of pens on paper. As no one else was looking confused, Minori had to assume she was the only one hearing some sort of remixed version of speech. Okay, fine. Just focus on getting through this. Maybe if you don’t look at her, she won’t be there! 

Childish logic seemed suited to a situation that seemed draped in a nightmare she’d had at approximately age 3.

Five minutes ticked by. Ten. The clock face mocked her, moving like its parts had been twisted specifically to run slower. Every twitch from Ami was clung to by Minori’s slightly feverish senses. While she wasn’t totally sure why she was noting all of this, her mind had convinced her it was significant. So of course, she’d ignored her own promise to disregard Ami and spent most of the sluggish lesson time trying to stare right into the model’s mind through the back of her skull. She considered herself fairly perceptive, so her complete inability to discern what was going on behind that flowing (and noticeably shorter!?) blue hair was frustrating.

A rush of movement dispelled the concentrated silence. The end of class had snuck up on her, surprising her with a flurry of movement from her fellow students. And Ami. Minori found herself standing up. A hand touched her shoulder. 

‘Wuh?!’

‘Hey, you okay?’ 

Minori huffed out shakily, just Amamiya. 

‘Yep! Why wouldn’t I-‘ Of course, just at that moment, Ami walked past, eyes purposefully fixed on the door. Oh, so she was going to behave like that, huh?

‘Gimme one second, okay Miya?’ Any response offered was stomped into the ground as Minori rushed after the flash of blue hair that was being slowly swallowed by the swarming limbs of the crowd. 

‘Sorry! ‘Scuse me!’ 

Finding Ami was easy. A crowd had quickly bunched together, hushed admiration flooding the echoing halls. Does she ever get tired of being the center of attention? Getting to her was significantly more difficult, and Minori was slightly ashamed to admit that she’d employed a few… underhand tactics. Anyone who had been pushed or shoved would have to catch her first! 

Finally, panting slightly, and definitely far from the neat prim dress and hairstyle Ami was donning, Minori pushed to the front of the crowd. That admiration dampened and grew silent. Trying very hard to look friendly, and not completely freaked out – Minori rubbed her arm and straightened up. 

‘Oh. It’s you.’

Ami’s voice hadn’t changed one bit. Still dripping with enough condescension to reduce Minori’s smiling defenses to mush. It should have been comforting to know that she was still the same smirking Ami Kawashima, but instead, it felt uncanny, unexpected. Like finding a tree growing in your shower. 

‘Uh, yep! Nice to see ya again Amin!’ She squeaked, trying to recall the familiar rhythms of the sparse conversations they had. 

All of a sudden, Minori was not a psychology student, with the memories of a gently aching past, pushed way behind her. No. Now she was just Minori Kushieda, vulnerable and pinned by Ami’s glare. It was so unfair. Why couldn’t she just leave Minori to her comfortable deceptions? Those old memories, a fleeting touch, a familiar smirk, the rare giggle, had been pursuing her for a while -standing before Ami now, they’d finally caught up to her.


End file.
